Typical
by Ryou VeRua
Summary: Anzu learns the hard way that one couple's typical date may not be preferred for all, and that Mai Kujaku and Ryuuji Otogi should not be used as an exemplar on ANY occasion. No shounenai or yaoi? Gasp! Flippantshipping, Peachshipping for contest


**Typical**

Don't know what Flippantshipping is? Neither did I, until about week-ish ago. It's Ryuuji x Mai (what a strange, random pairing…). For Compy's contest, as most of my fics are. I really need to get around to doing my own stuff, methinks…

Alright, it's not my best work (my best isn't that great either, but – okay, I'm going to end the ramblings right now) but it did make me laugh in one or two places. I'm working to get my humour spark back, and I think it's coming… slowly…

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, and have never owned these characters. However, the lame jokes and plot are mine. And now I am left wondering why I admitted to it…

* * *

Anzu wasn't one for double dates, but when Mai offered to accompany her and Yugi with Ryuuji Otogi at her side, she couldn't say no. After all, she was relatively new at this, and what better example would she have of the dating scene than from these two? 

Mid-afternoon at Domino Park, Mai had told her. Then they would have dinner and a movie. _Of course!_ Anzu thought. It was so obvious that she couldn't believe that she hadn't thought of it herself!

When the date finally rolled along, the two pairs were found sitting on the park benches. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and the novice couple was mumbling happy affectionate nothings to each other. All was right in the world. In other words, Mai and Ryuuji were one 'I love you' away from being sick.

While Anzu and Yugi were perfectly content with basking in each other's presence and staring at each other with the classic lovesick puppy dog eyes, Ryuuji and Mai had quickly become bored, and rather restless. The heat was getting to them. Ryuuji had shed his jacket, and Mai had boldly undone her blouse, revealing ample skin, and her favourite corset. Ryuuji slowly withdrew his arm around Mai, moving his hand up to his hair unconsciously; he began twirling a long dark strand slowly, scanning the park with deliberate nonchalance. Mai stretched, knocking her purse off the park bench in the process. As she bent over to reach it, long hair falling and hiding her face, she watched a pair of feet approach her.

"Oh, let me get that, Miss!"

She let a smirk flit across her painted lips briefly before straightening and accepting the purse from the young man in front of her. Her eyes raked over him quickly; he wasn't particularly good looking – more of a person that would blend into the crowd – but looks didn't particularly matter in this case.

"Are you normally this helpful or is there something else you'd like, hun?" The nameless face flushed. _This is too easy._

He stammered and stumbled over his words when he realized that he, for once, had gotten a woman's _attention_. Now, Mai wasn't really paying attention. She managed to catch the words 'drink' and 'tonight', but everything else went right over her head. Mai had managed to catch Ryuuji's eye without looking away from the hopeful teenager, and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards. He looked away innocently, eyes locking on to two giggling high school girls, pretending not to know her.

"So? How about it?" Ah, that was her cue. She turned her head slightly to the side, looking at the man from under her lashes in what she hoped was a coy manner. She had never been good at the shy act.

There was movement to her right, but she didn't bother looking. Mai could see Ryuuji approaching and already talking to the girls in her peripheral vision. _Oh no you don't!_ She couldn't take her time with this one, it seemed. That was fine. She had played her cards, and if she had played them right, which she _always_ did, it was only a matter of time…

She stood up and the man brightened. He babbled happily, "My name is Takashi! Takashi Akio, Miss –"

"Kujaku," she replied absent-mindedly. She heard Anzu groan – _Ah, so she's finally managed to spare some attention for us? – _and barely resisted the temptation to grin at her. Three. Two. One.

"Hey, baby. What are you doing with a loser like him?"

Mai and Akio turned, the male of the couple already bright red and swearing angrily at the newcomer. Mai was mildly surprised and amused at the reaction. _The little man's got some spunk, eh? He's like another Jounouchi_. She glanced at Akio. _Poor boy didn't get any looks to make up for the lack of intelligence, though…not that this one's any better._

The new man was promptly renamed 'Muscle head' by Mai. From his bulging muscles to his annoying swagger, the name was very well received by her inner voice (one she believed had first come about after being with Yugi). She looked passed him, and was pleased by the sight. "Ah," Mai murmured, "so you have friends. Good."

A few feet away, a girl fainted with a loud thud.

Meanwhile, Akio was desperately defending his honour against not one, but four men. "Back off, Iwao! If you don't, I'll… I'll…!"

'Iwao' (Mai still preferred Muscle head) sneered and responded with a witless response. Mai almost gagged. _This_ is what she got for spending time with above average people (Jounouchi excluded), with a rather large wealth of intelligence to fall back upon. Everyone else seemed so stupid in comparison. Or perhaps they actually were, and she had lost the ability to discern the mediocre from the bottom of the bucket. On the bright side, the little squabble had attracted attention, most of which was now on the pretty prize. The onlookers seemed to be torn between watching the show and approaching her themselves.

If Mai squinted, she could see past the slowly forming mass of men to the throng of girls surrounding Ryuuji. Once again, he caught her eye and smirked, an action that went completely unnoticed by his newly acquired fan girls. She checked her watch and sighed. _Time does sure fly when you're having fun. _

"Alright!" Mai hollered, turning on the men. Akio and Iwao, in the centre of the ring, were attempting to stare each other down. With three sets of eyes on either side of him backing him up, Iwao was obviously winning. "That's enough, all of you! Shut up and don't move, so I can count you all up!"

And then Iawo went the extra mile, and truly earned his nickname. "Give me a moment, pretty lady, so I can take this guy off your hands."

There was a moment's pause, and all the men waited anxiously with bated breaths to see her response to this blasphemous action. Mai smiled sweetly at him, and Iwao grinned back dumbly. Then her purse connected with the side of his head with the force of a freight train and he fell backwards.

"_Men_," she muttered venomously. Akio and the others whimpered accordingly.

"Aw, Mai, you know they aren't all _that_ bad. You gave me a chance, didn't you?" Ryuuji waded through the sea of men to take his place by her side, his girls struggling to follow him. Mai briefly wondered what this must have looked like to Yugi and Anzu. Everyone was silent but the two of them, engrossed in this new scene unfolding before their eyes.

Mai tapped Ryuuji's cheek with a slender manicured finger. "That's enough out of you. Just tell me your score, I'm getting hungry."

"S-Score…?" said one man timidly. Mai silenced him with a scathing look.

"Nineteen. Not my best. You?"

She didn't answer at first, turning to the crowd of men. "Give me a moment, I haven't had a chance. One, two, three…" They gaped back at her.

"Hurry up, Mai, Ryuuji, or we'll leave without you!" Anzu shouted.

"And… twenty-one!" Mai crowed. Ryuuji groaned in response. "_Again?_ I don't think I've ever beaten you!" The crowd of men and women alike both stared in horror as Ryuuji wrapped an arm around Mai's waist. Some of the girls, and even one or two of the boys, began to cry, and the bruised Iwao was dropped back on the ground by his friends in shock.

"What can I say? I have a few years of experience over you." The sea parted for them with loud wails and curses flung at Ryuuji as the two walked out.

"That's the way the dice rolls, I guess," Ryuuji sighed dramatically. "So the movie will be on me?" They stopped in front of a shell-shocked Yugi, and Anzu, who was scowling and having obvious second thoughts about the whole affair.

"And the dinner."

"Naturally." And with that, they kissed, leaving the largely ignored Yugi and Anzu with a few minutes of silence (which they were exceedingly grateful for).

"Anzu?"

"Yes?"

"No offense to Mai or Otogi, but… Next time let's have a double date with Honda and Shizuka."

Anzu did not need to think twice. "Agreed."

* * *

Mwuaha... I was reading some YuYu Hakusho fics, with Hiei and Kurama having a little competition on the side of one of their missions, competing over the demons they had killed. And that's where this came up. Yes... I'm very pleased with myself. Mai and Otogi are one of the many sex gods in the Yuugiou fandom. X3 Yes, I do appreciate pretty people when I see them. 

Iwao means 'stone man'. Akio means 'bright man'. Please note that I don't mean that in the intelligence sense.

Yeah… That's it! I'm done. Peace out! Reviews are always welcomed cough coveted cough.


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